You and your london ways....

I have never relished the Easter holidays as much as the one that just flew past. In the past I have either been at university or working the Uni Easter break to fully appreciate this 4 day weekend. So only now that I am working in the 'real world' I can fully understand this mental weekend where the world (catholic at least) stops and all hell breaks loose.
So over the weekend I went to Brighton to visit a friend with high hopes and expectations-and they werent broken either. Brighton was a really nice break and I immersed myself in the weird and wonderful culture that unfolds itself in the backstreets. I saw band and visitied record stores. I ate in restaurants and drank in weird and fancy bars. I even witnessed my first police patrolled kebab house and taxi queue. What would Orwell say? But one factor overwhelmed me: Brighton (or at least Brighton centre) is full of white people... White middle class liberals, punks, goths, gays, indie-ites, neo-hipplies, chavs, funksters, hoodies.....

Maybe it was just me, and this is probable, that I have become sensitive to white areas. Being part of London makes you feel sensitive to the opposite of what London is: multiculturalism. I told my friend of this whiteness (who was born and grew up in an even whiter neighbouring town) of that is so obvious in Brighton and he admitted something quite shocking-that although Brighton is one of the mose liberal places someone can grow up in the UK (one of the only areas that was in the UK where the green party has jumped ahead of the lib-dems) it is also one of the biggest paradox's of Britain. Ironically one of Brighton's old clubs was called Paradox up until recently. I dont know quite what to make of Brighton anymore but I cant help but feel that it has left me with a funny taste in my mouth-similar to the taste that Cambridge gives (also white middle class...yes less liberal?). Nonetheless I shouldnt moan, it was a lovely place and this is merely my cynical rhetoric going off again....

Life's Woes

The run-down to the end of March is now official and I am feeling as anxious and nervous about nearly everything. Thankfully my job will continue until at least the end of May, which sounds like a good thing, but in reality is awful as I am not enjoying it as much as I wish I could be. I took my last tutorial the other day expecting it to a nice ending to the year but I felt a bit deflated and sad. Its been a really good experience with the teaching but now im left with all the marking of essays.

This weekend I will go to Brighton with the intention to have a good time and see new things. We'll see how that one works out. At the end of the month I will go to France and visit a friend in Lyon which I am really looking forward to. There are nice things around the corner in this life sometimes, its when I return that I will start to panic again and stress about the mundanity of life. I shouldnt let it get in my way but I guess I cant help it.

Other than this news I read a really good article the other day about music and politics which got me thinking about my relationship with the two. I am not 'into' music as much as I used to be, at least not new music. The one thing that did become apparent on reading it is that I dont know (personally know) anyone who was involved in any of the music movements. My parents were too young for the hippy/60s movement and maybe too ''busy'' for the 1980's anti-Thatcher music - so in essence does the bond between music and politics exist? I think it does exist but is only enjoyed (sadly) by a few. What is definite is that it isnt as strong/passionate as it was back in the 80s. The brilliance in this article lies in the fact that the Guardian, generally, love to rubbish Cameron's claims and try to make him look like the twit that he is. More than this, he comes across as an arrogant elitist throughout-of course you didnt understand the music David- YOU WERE AT ETON! The walls are 6ft thick.

After reading this article I read about Billy Bragg's meeting of the Queen with the Bard stating 'I didnt meet the queen, she met me'.

Academic Snobbery

I had an awful situation yesterday with someone who teaches on the course with me and I just have to get it off my chest. The experience has made me realise how arrogant and snobbish academia is. The issue that we clashed on was a basic point-that the new EU treaty is a failed constitution text. This was something that the person was telling to a student which annoyed me no end. Considering all the hoo-ha that is around the media with the EU lately you would think that someone in that position wouldn’t say such a thing. This didn’t annoy me too much, it was more to do with that this person had to use the fact that he was doing a PhD and that I wasn’t to prove that he was right. It didn’t stop there either. Instead of giving me a reason why the new treaty is a ‘failed constitution’ treaty the said person continued to drop names and use PhD-related banter to alienate me. I cant handle arrogance and I cant handle snobbery (which unsurprisingly go hand in hand) in any walk of life. I just feel that this is something that is rife throughout the whole of academia. I know it cannot be stopped, as academia is an elitist field, however I have always felt that people would respect each other more than in the non-academic world (or is that a snobbish idea?). I guess my point is simple: academia has pockets of snobbery. I cant articulate this well enough as it is of course not all of academia-just parts of it. Its fine to have disagreements as that leads to debate-which is exactly what is required and desired-but snobbery for the sake of snobbery is disgusting and I don’t want to tarred with the same brush.

I dont really like to update for the sake of an update but today I feel the need to do so. Its been a good start to the year and it is mad that it is already March. For me it feels like I have been doing absolutely nothing yet at the same time it has been a period of massive changes and development. I am preparing myself to say goodbye to the teaching which will cease at the end of March. This has been the biggest development in my life and it is only now that I really understand the importance of it. Ive actually done something that I have subconsciously wanted to do for a long time-teach- and the honest truth is that I feel completely at home with it. I have said before that being/staying at Essex feels like i am in my comfortable zone or I feel that it is easy to go from student to staff but the truth is that without this change I would not know what the next step is in life. I also constantly say that I hate to sound pretentious and make a Jesus story for every step of my life but I guess this time it is okay to continue the Jesus-ness.

So now that the teaching will end shortly I have found my feet in life and am more content than I have ever been. With this comes a new found confidence (and hapiness) which has let me apply for jobs and institutions I would never of dreamed of this time last year-or ever. I should and I am feeling worried for the future just like everyone else, but having the knowledge of what you want to do or what you want to become makes the worry a little less immediate or indeed relevant. I hope that I will remember this part of my life and look back at it with fondness but I am sure that in time it will blend in with the rest of my history like colourful plasticine blends to make a nice poo colour.

According to new figures prodcued by the EU's statisitcal arm 'Eurostat' London has the most wealthiest inhabitants in the European Community. The figures state that the average london dweller is three times wealthier than the average EU citizen. So what does this mean? It comes at an interesting time as our wonderful and reluctant member state is going through yet another bout with its friends across the channel. On a personal level I certainly dont feel as wealthy as I should or could be and I dont see London as a purely wealthy place-in fact it reflects the British image-you are either piss poor or rich and lighting your cigars with cocaine infested £20 notes. I suppose I dont really know too much about London and how it operates but recently I cant help but comment on various 'eco' changes that will affect the average London dweller. So where's all that lovely money going? Ken 'hey i know Damon Albarn' Livingstone suggests higher congestion charges, new and better cycle networks that will be accessable for even the most novel cyclists, cheaper (and apparently free) transport for the young and old and finally energy packages that can be applied for by owners of proprty. Wow! My hero! On the other side of the debate we have Boris 'just look at my hair-arent I mad?!' Johnson and what does he want to talk about? Apart from thinking that his chum David 'seven chins' Cameron is a really cool guy, he wants to blow all the money on getting the hoodies off the buses. Thats right! He told Andrew 'Not as good as DavidFrost' Marr that he wants to see all gangs and hoodies off the buses-banned, placed in exhile-because they cause far too much trouble. Oh dear. Boris 'hey Im a cool guy-I grew up in the streets of Camden!' Johnson also thinks that the new cycle network is unworkable. Watching him blunder on you cant help but think - is this the best that the Tories can do? Put a bumbling toff in for the Mayor of London race? Well its true my friends, its as true as the day-those Tories sure havent learnt anything. He probably refers to the bus drivers as 'those Zulu chaps that Michael Caine was killing in the 60s....bloody good show'.

Ooooooo-hoooo-hooooOOOOoooo la la la la lah.....

...sings Bob Dylan's backing singers as the intro credits for the Big Lebowski roll. Some days you you can have the faith and belief of a 4 year old and other days you just dont want to get out of bed. Today has been the former. I have just finished my two hour teaching for the week and I feel at home. The last month has been a bit of a downer as I have had very little to do. I have realised that I just have to stay focused and busy with things otherwise I will lose track of my goals.

I now also realise that when at Essex I am in my comfort zone. I know the area and some people and the teaching is good. Its sad to see it as a comfort zone but that is what has happened. Once I got here I instantly felt good. but this also made me feel that I missed london. Its odd. I am not exactly a londoner, nor do I feel so attached that I would call it 'home'. But for now thats what it is. I look forward to going back there, but I also like to be here for a bit. Sometimes I think that I havent moved on and that can be interpreted in many ways but then I think of London and I realise its an achievment-at the very least to know my way around th city.

Having said all this, I will be glad to leave my comfort zone. I have no immediate plans for post-teaching (except maybe marking) but I will 'just have to wait and see'.....

Last night on Question time I witnessed one of my (former) heroes Alex 'I make cheese' James take to the stage to defend his views in front of a mildly Conservative audience. He was, in a word, an idiot. I was hoping for him to punch his fist into Oliver Letwin's stupid face, but did he? No he just mumbled something about going to a grammar school and asked if there were any muslims in the audience. Wheres Damon Albarn when you need him?

Anyway one of the final topics was about the EU and the Lisbon Treaty that is going through the early motions in Parliament this week. The point that was the best - which came from a lib dem - was that the real referendum that the public want (but doesnt realise) is a debate about what Europe is about and whether we want to stay in it or not rather than what the Lisbon treaty actually means (in essence, not much). I have been writing my proposal over the last few weeks and for me this seems such a crucial point. The way that Europe has been handled in the UK since 1973 is quite poor. This is unsurprising considering that we had Thatcher in power for most of that time, however what is surprising is how Brown has handled it: turning up late for the summit and leaving Milliband to deal with it all. He is either very stupid, or is this what the EU has become? A political community that gets delegated down to ministers. Who knows. What is Clear is that the Lib Dem chap on Question time was bang on - the majority of the UK doesnt really understand what the EU is. And sadly hardly any of the undergraduates in the tutorials understand it either (except The Suns Up-Yours-Delores quote).

Overall I do think Cameron is a pleb and deep down really is an Ultra Tory in EU policy but I can agree with him that the UK needs a referendum or debate. It needs educating on some of the basic principles of the EU: Human rights, free movement, subsidiarity...otherwise it will only stand for Polish immigrants and nice little houses in Spain and France for BNP voters who think 'ahhh this is what Britain used to be like'.