I have just requested an extension so a little weight has bee lifted off my shoulders. My tutor was great about the whole situation, and if anything she was more than happy to grant an extension. The thing is that i still have to do the work, its not like i can fly off to Spain for week.

I feel a lot better though and hopefully I will pass this period and return to normality. Whatever that is.

So this is my final week of essay writing and I am ashamed to say that I will have to ask for an extension. I have never had to ask for one before and It is a personal regret for me to request an extension, especially as these are the last 'essays' I will ever have to produce.

I dont exactly know what to blame this extension on. As some people know I havent had a very good year so far-financially, academically and of course personally. But if im honest i can narrow it down to one thing-money and lack of support. I hate to think about money, money scares me, but money is the root of all this nonsense i have had to go through. No money means that you cant pay your rent, or bills or in general have a life. In turn this makes me depressed and worry about other things when all i should be focusing on is my work and studying. The mixture of having no money or support means that I argue with the ones dearest to me, ignore my friends and overall renders me an unsociable depressed git. Having no money or support also means that I lose faith in myself, I wonder what the hell i am doing with my life and eventually it turns me into a pessimistic miserable git.

I saw a hot air balloon today. Great!!

'Shoosh! Listen!'

So Tony Blair will be leaving No.10 by the end of the Wimbledon fortnight. Im not sure how to feel about this. I have a strange connection with Tony, and im sure most people my age do too-whether positive or negative. The reason for this is that he is all that I have ever really remembered. I can recall quite fondly that my Nan would always watch politics shows on a Sunday morning, and the PM's question time during the week.It would would be 'ark at him, ark at him!' or 'bloody pratt'. Im not sure how much Nan really knew about politics, but for me as a little boy It was great! It would be an hour of absolute concentration followed by 'who does he think he is' or the classic 'shhh listen', it would always be 'shoooshh listen', even if no one was saying anything. Nan hated Thatcher and she hated John Major even more, she was a working class diva through and through. For me she was my idol and heroine and so my first political stand was when I would run off to school and say to my friends that 'Thatcher is a cow' or 'Major is a pratt!'

I dont really know much about my nans life and how she came to be interested in politics. I know that during the war she was in the WRNS (women's royal naval service-also known as the Wrens) working as a messenger or telegraphist. I know that she liked to go out dancing and have a whiskey or two. I know she worked in a ladies taxi firm in the 70's (there was a lovely picture of her from a newspaper cutting when she worked as a cabbie, she is photographed getting out of one taxi. She had big hair and big sunglasses!). I know that she adopted my mother and my uncle Gary. I also know that she died with 10p in her purse. For nan, the conservatives were bastards, and for me this has never rubbed off. Many people will say that they believe in political theories or parties because they believe in the philosophy or thought behind them, but for me I just knew that all conservatives were bastards and couldn't be trusted. So at the age of 15 when Tony Blair came along with New Labour I knew that this was good, and so did most of the middle voters of the UK. (Nan never saw Labour or Tony Blair step into office, she passed away in June 1994, 3 years before the general election). Tony Blair was the saviour of the people, the new wonderboy, a hero! 'Things can only get better' by D:ream played and for five minutes, just five minutes the whole of the UK was happy and content. Happy! The first time in years! Im not going to list all the bad and wonderful things that Tony has done since he has been in office, I wont brood over migration, the EU, NHS or welfare state - I will leave that to the people who are never be happy with their lives or any PM who is in power. What I will say is simple, if the conservatives get back in power what the hell is going to happen? Seriously, it will be like stepping back into the 80's, and no one wants that-not even Axl Rose. If my nan was here today, she'd have a field day.

I Fought the Church and The Church Won.

This time of year is always a pain in the arse. My essays are due in on the 27th and everyone else has the books that I need. It hasn't been too bad though, Im slowly getting through my essays and they're proving to be quite interesting, i just wish that i started them earlier. The one that i am currently writing is about Christianity and Europe:can European Identity be based on the Christian faith? At first my immediate answer would be 'no, of course not' but looking at it historically its hard not to disagree. This essay has been quite a struggle in all, not because of the difficulty of the essay but because of the way in which i want to tackle the theme. Saying that, its made me read a lot about the history of Europe and how we've come this far. This, in turn made me think about the history lessons I had at school. To be fair Im sure the history teachers haven't got that much choice, but in a nutshell what they teach is absolute balls: England beat the Nazi's, it was a gloomy time, we all had to pull our socks up and sing dodgy songs. Hurrah! Then I think of all the war comedies that England have produced, Allo Allo, it ain't half hot mum, Dads Army, and my favourite Black Adder Goes Forth (hello darling!). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4TKTRV4HM0&NR=1
Ive lost my trail of thought, but anyway, Englands perspective of Europe is always us and them.

Christianity has arguably given Europe (and the new world through colonisation) fundamental principles such as equality, democracy, free speech however this doesn't necessarily mean that European identity has to still be based on the faith of such doctrines. My lecturer, Kathryn is convinced that the removal of religion in Europe would solve a lot of problems for most of its member states and the reason (she argues) that they do not remove Christianity is that it would cause more problems than what its worth. This is true. But for me, once it is done, then its done. It just needs one big push and thats it. i can vision it in true Monty python style: 'errr yeah, we dont believe in God anymore, hmm.. thats right, it was all just a big joke.'...'hahaha...' Although there has been talk (a new liberal pope, Europe at 50 and a left wing/conservative/green German president ) its just not going to happen. So were all forced to to listen to Christianity for the next 50 years. Great.

So back to this essay, I dont know where i am going with it. its like a big wobbly piece of dough, expanding all over the place, sticking to other objects and sucking them in. Islam: thats another part. Englands favourite topic: Muslims. Theres absolutely loads of them. There all going to vote for someone, surely they wont vote for Cameroon or Brown/Milliband/That drummer from Blur. And theyre certainly not going to vote for sarkozy or le pen in France. So whats going to happen? Are the EU institutions going to continue to stick there index fingers in their ears and sing blah blah blah? Who knows. Maybe this Jesus chap is going to come back and sort it all out.

Today I went to see my friend Felix's new flat by the Quays. It was a really nice place. We cooked chicken and mushroom pasta and everything was rosy. For afters we had strawberry ice cream and then spoke about carpets in English houses. Tomorrow I will hopefully finish this essay and move onto a new one. 11 days left!

Englishness

This subject has been on my mind for quite some time now, possibly and subconsciously, years. Once again I have to mention Ray Davies from the Kinks as I think his style and influence has cleared up lots of things that I have been chewing over. There was one thing the other day that someone said to me about England that has stopped me from writing this update sooner. I wont go into it now but I shocked me, not because of its content but the fact that it was so obvious.

So what is Englishness? What does it mean to be English? And does merely being from England constitute Englishness? Throughout University I have had quite a few EU and international friends, and of course Ive had arguments as well as agreements as to what makes England a great and a not so great country. Oh and of course I have a non English partner who is always there to assert criticism or admiration of our funny culture. The most common trait that all these people have commented on is the English politeness. Hello! Oh thank you! Oh you re welcome! hello dear! Take care now! Bye! Bye! See you! This kind of thing. Then theres the obsession with the weather. The obsession with tea. Then the football, oh and the bloody french bastards (and the fucking Germans!). Bloody sheep shaggers. Those Scot gits. And the stupid Micks/Paddies/Leprechauns .Public transport. Margaret Thatcher. Monty Python. The Office. Then theres fish and chips. Pie and Mash. Chicken Tikka Masala. Egg. Bacon. Sausage. Beans. Fried bread. Fried tomatoes. Mushrooms. Oh and the two separate tap syndrome rather than one tap that controls the hot AND cold water. Bad teeth. The Queen. Sunday Roasts. Baths (?!). Del Boy....the list goes on. But what I want to look at is the real Englishness. What I have listed are just the jolly little sentimental things that people generally attach to the average Englishman. To be fair its true that a lot of English people spend an awful lot of time during the average week talking about the above average subjects. No, what I want to look at is the underbelly of our little country. The Real Englishman.

The real Englishness is a complete paradox. We all moan about how shit our little island is and yet we do absolutely nothing about it. In fact we do the complete opposite and continue to behave the same way we have for the past two hundred years: yep thats right, a bunch of die-hard conservative twits. To be truly English most of your time is spent moaning about how bad your country is and how great it used to be. To be truly English you must rant on about the how poor the NHS is and the amount of blacks living down your street. Last year saw the biggest amount of people to leave the country and settle abroad. I read a supplement in the Guardian a few months back about what type of people move abroad and why. The overwhelming majority were young-middle aged middle Englanders, seeking a new place that will remind them of what England was 50 years ago. ('when I could leave my front door open and not have to worry some bloody asylum seeker will pinch my TV'..). This trend startles me and I don't know where to begin. I have no fears about England or the current Government. The only thing that bothers me are my fellow Englanders I have to share it with. There are much bigger problems in other countries that make our woes look tiny. This brings me on to the comment that I heard earlier this week that really made me conclude Englishness. My partner who has been in this country for 4 years said that she has only incurred problems from English people, and never from anyone who is none-English or indeed an ethnic minority. In fact its hard to get beyond the polite Englishness of 'oh hello dear' and actually find a real English friend.

This comment opened up an ocean of thought for me. Every time she has been jogging its always someone throwing things at her or shouting some obscure abuse. If she has walked through town Its always white English people who want to start an argument or trouble. The same has always happened to me. I have only really had trouble with white people who have problems with my appearance, 'oi hippie' or 'gay boy'. Of course this does not represent the majority of English people or Englishness but it does beg to ask the question is it really worth to start questioning other cultures when our own is so deficient?

Can we have our troops back.....please?

I feel that I have to say something about the captured British navy personnel in Iran . For me its just the response that the west have given to the situation. I understand that Iran (or the UK) have broken international / high sees law but why is there all this fuss surrounding the way they have been treated?? It seems to me that more milk spilt over these 15 people compared to all of the terrorist kidnappings over the last 3 years. Tony Blair has deemed the televised confessions 'disgusting'. Disgusting?! come on Mr B, it isn't that bad. Its not as if they have them tied up in orange overalls and blindfolded. its not as if they have been tortured and beaten black and blue.

Firstly the captured navy crew seem quite well and in good spirit, secondly anyone under those conditions would do the same. Go along with whatever they say and don't get into trouble. I'm not saying that this will all blow over and will end in a big jolly laugh with all the leaders of the world rejoicing and patting each other on the backs ''..ho ho we got you there didn't we?''. But It does seem that the west are milking it. The best was George Bushes delayed response (yeah like you've been in big diplomatic meetings all week) claiming Iran's behaviour as inexcusable. So blowing the shit out of a country is ok is it?

But lets not forget the good 'ol EU. They have officially branded the kidnappings as 'unacceptable'. Well la de da!

I hardly ever look forward to a TV programme but today was the return of Louis Theroux. I never watched Louis the first time round but I read his book over Christmas and downloaded his weird weekends series. Tonight's episode saw Louis with the most hated family in a America, a group of 70 odd religious zealots made up of an entire family. Liberal Louis gets into his usual scraps with Americas sub cultures climaxing to conclude yet another sad group of individuals lost in the madness that is America. The documentaries are not exactly ground braking, its more of Louis interviewing technique that's inspiring. In a time when British stars are breaking America (Sacha Baron Cohen, Steve Coogan, Ricky Gervais..) Louis Theroux has managed to creep in the back door. Although he holds a dual citizenship (his father, Paul, an American travel writer) Louis maintains his Britishness, goofy glasses and odd dress sense. Together with his quick wit, charm, observational skills and tactfulness he manages to win over his subjects easing them into a sense of security. But what is overwhelming is his ability to come across as a slightly naive Brit who craves for his subjects acceptance. This last aspect seals the deal and you have yourself am hour of drama followed by comic relief.
Most of the weird weekends that I have seen include some odd and slightly unnerving characters. However what Louis manages to do is turn a few nasty people into deluded and sometimes sad individuals.

I also saw Ricky Gervais' The Extras, which was surprisingly good. I must admit that his face had started to annoy me after The Office Christmas special had been repeated 12 times but Extras comes clean with the goods. This is partly to do with the presence of co writer Steve Merchant. Hes already a slightly odd looking guy let alone his height. Come to think of it, it amazes me how these two met.

Every now and then, there is this barrage of press who claim that British Comedy is dead and that the BBC will never recover from the likes of Del Boy or One foot in the grave. The thing is is that we are now looking at a new generation of comedians, If anything we have already missed them with our constant moaning of how good the past was. Gone are the days of repetitive one liners character comedy and lovable rogues, British Comedy now has Gervais, The Mighty Boosh, Dylan Moran, Mitchell and Webb. I think its high time we stop comparing Matt Lucas and David Walliams to Dick Emery and celebrate the British new wave!