Maybe I'm Amazed

I just listened to Paul McCartney's first solo album which I've been meaning to get for ages but for some reason I've never bought. I don't know if its because of how I feel at this particular stage in life or because I love McCartney's music -maybe its a it of both - but anyway its just brilliant. Its so simple and beautiful. Maybe you have to understand what the guy was going through to get the album but even if you don't know that, its just brilliant. What a musician.

My Imaginary Allotment

I've been stuck in bed all day today fighting some weird fever/vomiting illness that just wont die. Out of sheer boredom I decided that the best thing for me to do was to have something to look forward to. When I get ill I usually make a pact with myself, something along the lines of 'when I'm better, I promise I will be active, say hello to my neighbours more and fix that bloody drawer that doesn't shut properly'. Of course, once the illness has passed my pact goes out of the window and runs down the road shouting 'loser'. I then go back to eating crisps, laughing at crap panel shows on bbc iPlayer and banging my drawer until it closes shut.

Ah ha!

But today I thought to myself, 'hey why not do something now so that when the repercussion comes you will have to do something you lazy shit.' So I've ordered myself a potato grow bag.According to the website I should e able to yield about 20-30 lbs of potatoes over the winter. Yeah eat that Boris Johnson! My real pact though is that when the spud-bag arrives I will get more of these little sacks that sit out in the garden. Peas, carrots, peppers, maybe a goat... the list is endless. The truth is that come March I will probably end up with a mouldy sack damp with next doors cat wee.




The soon to be cat-piss-infested potato sack

What has become of the green pleasant fields of Jerusalem?

Today we will see the Lord Turner and the Committee for Climate Change flex their muscles for what is surely to be the most untimely advancement in the last three years of the world going 'green'. The Committee will essentially set out emission targets for the the present and distant future governments at a time when most people are losing sleep on how they can feed their consumer habits. Economics and Environmental Policy have apparently never seen eye to eye - that is until the Stern review of 2006 which essentially predicted what is happening right now: the economy works with ecology. If were having difficulty digging it out of the ground and pumping it into the air then we're going to have difficulty filling our bellies with food. So here we are, 2008 will soon see in 2009 and will ultimately bring us to one of the biggest recession the west has witnessed. It will cost Europe at least twice as much as the two world wars put together. Scared? Well, Lord Turner doesnt seem to be. Lord Turner, you see is also the new Chairman of the FSA and is also backing the Government with the expansion of Heathrow. You just cant make these things up.

We will have to wait and see if today's news will put the UK at the foreground of emission targets but what is more interesting and important for me is whether we have learnt anything in the last few years? Surely now is the time to start growing your own potatoes in your back yard? To cycle to work on that bike, to stop those cheap flight holidays and pull on the extra cardigan for the sake of the electricity bill? I've been thinking of what I should do with this blog for a while and there's just one thing for it - it has to turn into a 'holier than thou' green blog. I cant hide it anymore, I cant resist the smugness of cycling everywhere I go and recycling everything I buy (almost). Being green is like being a Catholic...you've got to spread the word.

Casa de Dramatismo

I am living in a strange Spanish-cum-latin American comedy/soap opera. Its true. All of my flatmates are from a Latin descent and some days it really feels like a punch line will come and the credits will roll to the sound of pseudo audience applause and laughter. Each of my flatmates have their character, the busy mum, the drunkard dad, the wayward hippy daughter. They all have their distinct trades (Teacher, Carpenter and Journalist). Then there's the boyfriends, girlfriends, friends and more friends of the flatmates. Musicians, air hostesses, shopkeepers, gardeners, lecturers, cleaners, plumbers. Mix all of this together and you have a Latin cocktail of music, dancing, talking food and talking. Especially talking. Once youre in the kitchen you can be stuck there for a minimum of one hour, and it always ends on the same topic : politics. Whether its Galtieri or Zapatero, the talk will always be how awful or great the leader has been. Of late it has been how awful Johnson is, the Colombian flatmate is adamant that Boris is an awful awful man that mirrors everything that is wrong with the UK. ''Dayvid I have a been in this coo-ntery for thixteen years and this a man isa not good....he is a wanker''. This sentence is usually the opener for him to pick up the Evening Standard and point to page 7. Anyway, I dont want to sound like a Boris obsessive, because I am not.

The main thing is that the Latin soap opera is passionate and I have learned that if you want to be in the show you have to play the part. Be dramatic in political and historical debate, laugh when the men laugh, catch the winks, slap each other on the backs and generally not behave so British.

Cos Im a Muswell Hillbilly Boy

Its been well over a year now since my obsession with the kinks began and I still cant stop listening to the genius that is Ray Davies. I dont know why no one introduced me them earlier but I am glad someone did. Its a dangerous phrase amongst music gurus but The Kinks truly are one of my favourite bands. Lately I have discovered Ray's catalogue of theatrical work - which is grotesqley silly yet tender and to the point.

I think I could sit and write all day about what the kinks are and what they stood for but I shant, I will just leave it here with 'Til Death Us Do Part' which is lovely and beautifully delivered and Cricket, which is...well... just silly.

Recently I have been going on the Daily Mail website to get my kicks. Its sad but here is one of the best comments I have ever read. It's taken from an article about the divorce thats about to kick of between Matt Lucas (of little britain) and his partner. Here we go:

This proves what a silly idea the whole "gay marriages" thing is in the first place. And how fitting it should involve someone from the disgusting rubbish Little Britain, a show which symbolises how this country is going down the drain,. We don't want these people's sneering comedy, or their unwholesome lifestyles, imposed on us by Mr Brown.
- David Greatbatch, Banbury, Oxfordshire, 18/6/2008 16:58

Sorry? Eh? WHAT? Gordon Brown?

I could deconstruct the two sentences (although this one has used a comma and a full stop) but obviously the best part is the Gordon Brown comment. Its Gordon Browns fault that the Daily Mail is creating this 'news' to disgust you!

The Sun is also another good option which has gone Sarkozy crazy. Apparently the French (or the EU?? I dont think the Sun can make up its mind - or distinguish between the two) want to build a Euro - Army. This headline then leads to an absolute confusion of terms, and of course - good old xenophobia, dodgy photo-fits and montages. Needless to say, I just dont get the revised song lyrics to In the Navy. What are they on about??

Margaret Thatcher was a hoochie mama or 'The Apologies of a Serial Ranter'

Today I was going to write about fancying the young Margaret Thatcher and why the BBC have all of a sudden felt the need to portray the old hack as human being but instead something much more interesting and closer to my heart (Sorry Maggie) caught my eye. Its pretty much the talk of the town that petrol prices are going through the roof and drivers are filling up everything they can from petrol cans to hot water bottles, so its little surprise that the woolly left media are embarking on a discussion that I have rehearsed in my head for years. It is terrible that farmers are having to stoop to hatching deals with local filling stations to run their tractors - but what is not awful is that people are having to queue up at Tesco to fill their Mercedes Coupe with over priced fuel. I wont go into the economics of the oil industry nor why petrol is so expensive - the reason being that the answer is simple-we're running out. The story of Russia racing to the North pole to stick a Russian flag in it last year seemed to have shocked (and disgusted) a few people who knew what it meant but has since sadly died...nonetheless this is the terrifying truth that oil reserves are so low that man will have to dig under the last unspoilt place on earth so that he can fill his car up with petrol and drive to work. Ok Ok, oil doesnt just fuel cars (it also allows silly men to fly Amy Winehouse out to Moscow for an hour show!!), but my point here is simple: we need to rethink why we are still driving excessively here in Europe.

Dramatic? Utopian? Maybe, but this weeks strike related fuel 'crisis' is a small hint as to what the future may look like. So whats the alternative? Many will point to short term solutions such as bio fuels. Ah yes! Bio fuels, that lovely fuel that looks like sunflower oil and can be grown in your back garden - not the one that starves out developing nations! Others say electric cars -where does that electricity come from then? From the wind turbines silly! You know, the ones near the Norfolk coastline and the Highlands - the ones that just about cover 0.9% of the UK's energy consumption! The challenge is real and immediate but the answer in theory is simple. More public transport -trams, buses, trains and why not the hell not - rivers. Better and efficient cycle lanes, better pedestrian footpaths and better town planning.

Ok, my point is simple and I will try not to spell it out like I am some kind of anti car mentalist - cars are unnecessary and make you look stupid.

Just when I thought I couldnt be more disillusioned by my own country.....

...this happened

You and your london ways....

I have never relished the Easter holidays as much as the one that just flew past. In the past I have either been at university or working the Uni Easter break to fully appreciate this 4 day weekend. So only now that I am working in the 'real world' I can fully understand this mental weekend where the world (catholic at least) stops and all hell breaks loose.
So over the weekend I went to Brighton to visit a friend with high hopes and expectations-and they werent broken either. Brighton was a really nice break and I immersed myself in the weird and wonderful culture that unfolds itself in the backstreets. I saw band and visitied record stores. I ate in restaurants and drank in weird and fancy bars. I even witnessed my first police patrolled kebab house and taxi queue. What would Orwell say? But one factor overwhelmed me: Brighton (or at least Brighton centre) is full of white people... White middle class liberals, punks, goths, gays, indie-ites, neo-hipplies, chavs, funksters, hoodies.....

Maybe it was just me, and this is probable, that I have become sensitive to white areas. Being part of London makes you feel sensitive to the opposite of what London is: multiculturalism. I told my friend of this whiteness (who was born and grew up in an even whiter neighbouring town) of that is so obvious in Brighton and he admitted something quite shocking-that although Brighton is one of the mose liberal places someone can grow up in the UK (one of the only areas that was in the UK where the green party has jumped ahead of the lib-dems) it is also one of the biggest paradox's of Britain. Ironically one of Brighton's old clubs was called Paradox up until recently. I dont know quite what to make of Brighton anymore but I cant help but feel that it has left me with a funny taste in my mouth-similar to the taste that Cambridge gives (also white middle class...yes less liberal?). Nonetheless I shouldnt moan, it was a lovely place and this is merely my cynical rhetoric going off again....

Life's Woes

The run-down to the end of March is now official and I am feeling as anxious and nervous about nearly everything. Thankfully my job will continue until at least the end of May, which sounds like a good thing, but in reality is awful as I am not enjoying it as much as I wish I could be. I took my last tutorial the other day expecting it to a nice ending to the year but I felt a bit deflated and sad. Its been a really good experience with the teaching but now im left with all the marking of essays.

This weekend I will go to Brighton with the intention to have a good time and see new things. We'll see how that one works out. At the end of the month I will go to France and visit a friend in Lyon which I am really looking forward to. There are nice things around the corner in this life sometimes, its when I return that I will start to panic again and stress about the mundanity of life. I shouldnt let it get in my way but I guess I cant help it.

Other than this news I read a really good article the other day about music and politics which got me thinking about my relationship with the two. I am not 'into' music as much as I used to be, at least not new music. The one thing that did become apparent on reading it is that I dont know (personally know) anyone who was involved in any of the music movements. My parents were too young for the hippy/60s movement and maybe too ''busy'' for the 1980's anti-Thatcher music - so in essence does the bond between music and politics exist? I think it does exist but is only enjoyed (sadly) by a few. What is definite is that it isnt as strong/passionate as it was back in the 80s. The brilliance in this article lies in the fact that the Guardian, generally, love to rubbish Cameron's claims and try to make him look like the twit that he is. More than this, he comes across as an arrogant elitist throughout-of course you didnt understand the music David- YOU WERE AT ETON! The walls are 6ft thick.

After reading this article I read about Billy Bragg's meeting of the Queen with the Bard stating 'I didnt meet the queen, she met me'.

Academic Snobbery

I had an awful situation yesterday with someone who teaches on the course with me and I just have to get it off my chest. The experience has made me realise how arrogant and snobbish academia is. The issue that we clashed on was a basic point-that the new EU treaty is a failed constitution text. This was something that the person was telling to a student which annoyed me no end. Considering all the hoo-ha that is around the media with the EU lately you would think that someone in that position wouldn’t say such a thing. This didn’t annoy me too much, it was more to do with that this person had to use the fact that he was doing a PhD and that I wasn’t to prove that he was right. It didn’t stop there either. Instead of giving me a reason why the new treaty is a ‘failed constitution’ treaty the said person continued to drop names and use PhD-related banter to alienate me. I cant handle arrogance and I cant handle snobbery (which unsurprisingly go hand in hand) in any walk of life. I just feel that this is something that is rife throughout the whole of academia. I know it cannot be stopped, as academia is an elitist field, however I have always felt that people would respect each other more than in the non-academic world (or is that a snobbish idea?). I guess my point is simple: academia has pockets of snobbery. I cant articulate this well enough as it is of course not all of academia-just parts of it. Its fine to have disagreements as that leads to debate-which is exactly what is required and desired-but snobbery for the sake of snobbery is disgusting and I don’t want to tarred with the same brush.

I dont really like to update for the sake of an update but today I feel the need to do so. Its been a good start to the year and it is mad that it is already March. For me it feels like I have been doing absolutely nothing yet at the same time it has been a period of massive changes and development. I am preparing myself to say goodbye to the teaching which will cease at the end of March. This has been the biggest development in my life and it is only now that I really understand the importance of it. Ive actually done something that I have subconsciously wanted to do for a long time-teach- and the honest truth is that I feel completely at home with it. I have said before that being/staying at Essex feels like i am in my comfortable zone or I feel that it is easy to go from student to staff but the truth is that without this change I would not know what the next step is in life. I also constantly say that I hate to sound pretentious and make a Jesus story for every step of my life but I guess this time it is okay to continue the Jesus-ness.

So now that the teaching will end shortly I have found my feet in life and am more content than I have ever been. With this comes a new found confidence (and hapiness) which has let me apply for jobs and institutions I would never of dreamed of this time last year-or ever. I should and I am feeling worried for the future just like everyone else, but having the knowledge of what you want to do or what you want to become makes the worry a little less immediate or indeed relevant. I hope that I will remember this part of my life and look back at it with fondness but I am sure that in time it will blend in with the rest of my history like colourful plasticine blends to make a nice poo colour.

According to new figures prodcued by the EU's statisitcal arm 'Eurostat' London has the most wealthiest inhabitants in the European Community. The figures state that the average london dweller is three times wealthier than the average EU citizen. So what does this mean? It comes at an interesting time as our wonderful and reluctant member state is going through yet another bout with its friends across the channel. On a personal level I certainly dont feel as wealthy as I should or could be and I dont see London as a purely wealthy place-in fact it reflects the British image-you are either piss poor or rich and lighting your cigars with cocaine infested £20 notes. I suppose I dont really know too much about London and how it operates but recently I cant help but comment on various 'eco' changes that will affect the average London dweller. So where's all that lovely money going? Ken 'hey i know Damon Albarn' Livingstone suggests higher congestion charges, new and better cycle networks that will be accessable for even the most novel cyclists, cheaper (and apparently free) transport for the young and old and finally energy packages that can be applied for by owners of proprty. Wow! My hero! On the other side of the debate we have Boris 'just look at my hair-arent I mad?!' Johnson and what does he want to talk about? Apart from thinking that his chum David 'seven chins' Cameron is a really cool guy, he wants to blow all the money on getting the hoodies off the buses. Thats right! He told Andrew 'Not as good as DavidFrost' Marr that he wants to see all gangs and hoodies off the buses-banned, placed in exhile-because they cause far too much trouble. Oh dear. Boris 'hey Im a cool guy-I grew up in the streets of Camden!' Johnson also thinks that the new cycle network is unworkable. Watching him blunder on you cant help but think - is this the best that the Tories can do? Put a bumbling toff in for the Mayor of London race? Well its true my friends, its as true as the day-those Tories sure havent learnt anything. He probably refers to the bus drivers as 'those Zulu chaps that Michael Caine was killing in the 60s....bloody good show'.

Ooooooo-hoooo-hooooOOOOoooo la la la la lah.....

...sings Bob Dylan's backing singers as the intro credits for the Big Lebowski roll. Some days you you can have the faith and belief of a 4 year old and other days you just dont want to get out of bed. Today has been the former. I have just finished my two hour teaching for the week and I feel at home. The last month has been a bit of a downer as I have had very little to do. I have realised that I just have to stay focused and busy with things otherwise I will lose track of my goals.

I now also realise that when at Essex I am in my comfort zone. I know the area and some people and the teaching is good. Its sad to see it as a comfort zone but that is what has happened. Once I got here I instantly felt good. but this also made me feel that I missed london. Its odd. I am not exactly a londoner, nor do I feel so attached that I would call it 'home'. But for now thats what it is. I look forward to going back there, but I also like to be here for a bit. Sometimes I think that I havent moved on and that can be interpreted in many ways but then I think of London and I realise its an achievment-at the very least to know my way around th city.

Having said all this, I will be glad to leave my comfort zone. I have no immediate plans for post-teaching (except maybe marking) but I will 'just have to wait and see'.....

Last night on Question time I witnessed one of my (former) heroes Alex 'I make cheese' James take to the stage to defend his views in front of a mildly Conservative audience. He was, in a word, an idiot. I was hoping for him to punch his fist into Oliver Letwin's stupid face, but did he? No he just mumbled something about going to a grammar school and asked if there were any muslims in the audience. Wheres Damon Albarn when you need him?

Anyway one of the final topics was about the EU and the Lisbon Treaty that is going through the early motions in Parliament this week. The point that was the best - which came from a lib dem - was that the real referendum that the public want (but doesnt realise) is a debate about what Europe is about and whether we want to stay in it or not rather than what the Lisbon treaty actually means (in essence, not much). I have been writing my proposal over the last few weeks and for me this seems such a crucial point. The way that Europe has been handled in the UK since 1973 is quite poor. This is unsurprising considering that we had Thatcher in power for most of that time, however what is surprising is how Brown has handled it: turning up late for the summit and leaving Milliband to deal with it all. He is either very stupid, or is this what the EU has become? A political community that gets delegated down to ministers. Who knows. What is Clear is that the Lib Dem chap on Question time was bang on - the majority of the UK doesnt really understand what the EU is. And sadly hardly any of the undergraduates in the tutorials understand it either (except The Suns Up-Yours-Delores quote).

Overall I do think Cameron is a pleb and deep down really is an Ultra Tory in EU policy but I can agree with him that the UK needs a referendum or debate. It needs educating on some of the basic principles of the EU: Human rights, free movement, subsidiarity...otherwise it will only stand for Polish immigrants and nice little houses in Spain and France for BNP voters who think 'ahhh this is what Britain used to be like'.

Last week my grandparents came and dropped off a television to our flat which was very nice of them. But the thing is that I haven't had a telly since August so as soon as it was switched on my eyes have been sapping at the coloured pictures taking in all the usual stuff that has been on Bristish TV for the last 6 million years. The usual thing happened to me-I began watching Eastenders. Eastenders, the soul of the nation... the inner monologue of the working class people of the South East! Apple and Pears ...two Paaahnd a paahnd a banana....what you looking at? You mug...' and all that. Anyway it turns out Ian Beale is now preaching why its not cool to be homophobic and Walford has its very own non-swearing hoodie gang assaulting.....Dot Cotton (who else?). Hey, Eastenders knows the score. If you want to know whats happening in the UK then watch it. Accordingly London is full of poofs and hoodies....which sounds like one of Boris Johnson's policies to combat Ken 'im mates with Damon Albarn' Livingstone.

Speaking of bum face Tory-boys I also watched Michael Portillos programme on how to kill someone humanely. Everyone knows Mike as the face that symbolised the fall of the Tories under John 'more peas' Major in 1997. However I have taken a liking to 'down wid da kids' Mike, thats right i like the little rascal. Actually I have secretly admired him after watching him a few years ago in another programme where he swaps life with a single mum in Liverpool. But this programme proved he's a good ol bean. It received a lot of negative media such as what was the point in frying a dead pigs face or killing a rabbit with acid? But I thought the approach was good. Anyone could have made a programme that consisted of the presenter saying 'oooh killing is evil, America is backwards... look what happened to this poor sod.etc. But my mate Mike was more interested (and shocked! He has feelings) at the lack of research that had gone into execution processes in general. Not a bad turn around for a chap who supported (and voted for) the death penalty under Thatcher. Bless him. The little scoundrel.

So due to the telly situation today I have gone to the library. I am supposed to be putting together a proposal for Helsinki but instead im reviewing the TV for the last week. Time is slowly running out, in fact i have 12 days to finish it.

I wish Eastenders was on tonight.

I’ve gone mental with the coffee today and now I can’t concentrate on anything. The only thing I am capable of doing is writing blog updates and rambling emails to various people who I wouldn’t email in my normal state. This has led to some good results as today I finally joined IALS the most reputable law library in Europe. At lunch I visited the main building which is an eyesore amongst all the nice buildings at Russell Square, however it pretty much has every book you could possibly need. The EU sections is more or less the size of the law section at Essex so there is no reason why I shouldn’t get my proposal ready for the end of this month. This is pretty much all I can think of lately. I have sent my proposal to everyone who can possibly help me and now I just need to take his or her comments and do the do…. But the truth is I can’t bear to look at it. Yesterday I worked out that I have two weeks tomorrow to finish it and theres a lot to do.

I will go to the IALS tonight and work until closing time and hopefully get a draft done by Sunday.

Over the years I have learnt from a certain somebody that its good to listen to what your body is telling you, that it is OK to eat outside of the ordinary or ‘set’ times during the day and It is fine to sleep and lay in bed until midday. Sod what everyone else thinks. What do they know? Grudgingly I have accepted this, I say grudgingly because I used hate to sleep late or eat outside of breakfast, lunch and dinner. In the past I have been sadly proud of my ‘skills’ that allow me to wake early and stay awake all day without naps or a rest. This has slowly changed and I am no longer ashamed to wake at 1pm on a Saturday or take a nap in the afternoon. But for the last week or so I have been tired beyond compare. I could blame it on all the stress that is ‘life’ but for now I can and will blame it on S.A.D. That’s right, seasonal affective disorder. I go to work feeling tired, I sit at work feeling tired and I come home feeling tired. All in all I am constantly tired and lack the motivation to do anything. Hopefully the storm clouds will leave Britain and the cold bright January that we should be enjoying will appear.

Apart from this everything seems to be going fine. I am glad to be living in London and although the first few days back from being away in Finland were harsh I have slowly got back into the swing of London life. Whilst my day job is a bit tedious I am happy to know that the teaching will start again soon and I will receive word from Helsinki regarding my application. I am happy to be living rather than existing. This is a corny and unoriginal slogan that middle-aged hippies use but that’s how I feel. I know that the doors are open for me and I know I am not scared to approach them-I just have to get my lazy power-napping arse back into gear.

Upstairs Downstairs

Today at work I have literally been running up and down the stairs doing the odd jobs that I should have done before Christmas. Today there was also an interview that I had to take care of which meant running upstairs to take candidates to the right room make them tea and generally act like servant. This afternoon I have been down in the basement with a friend going through some old government papers that go right back to 1942. The job that we ‘volunteered’ is essentially to throw everything away that has a letter ‘D’ on it (d=destroy, a word that I find too harsh for such a simple action). The building I work in is an old 1960/1970s building that looks like it belongs to East Germany. Anyway the basement is even worse. Its almost like being in a war museum where you can experience what it was like to walk around Churchill’s war rooms however the reality is that this is where they keep all the old government documents-that me and Harry have to DESTROY. Its dark, quiet and rat droppings everywhere and now (after having a break) wonder why I volunteered to do this job. On the other hand its pretty cool. You get to read all the hand written documents from the war right through to the 1980s on Council tax payments, town planning and employees lives. Apart from the documents there are all sorts of miscellaneous junk all over the place. In particular (and my favourite) is a picture of the queen. There is a picture of the Queen on the 4th floor, but this painting (real painting) is massive and I imagine that it was in the entrance of the old land registry building. These kinds of things fascinate me no end. There’s also some cool ashtrays from the days when you could smoke in the offices, some old quality street tins and another of my favourites-old newspapers! It’s a shame to throw them all away but that’s what we’ve been told. Boo.

A new year and a new era.

Today has been the one of the longest days in the history of long days. I flew back from Finland early this morning and went straight into work which Is where I write this now. I would like to give an update of the year that seemed to have flown by however I am too tired an certainly confused to comment on how it has turned out. The simple truth now is that today is a new year and with new eras come new and exciting journeys and adventures. I will (once I have a sleep!) give a full update of what’s going, what I have learnt and indeed what the future holds!

Finland was excellent and if I don’t mind saying so it was a well deserved rest for me and Vuokko. I laid in bed, went for walks and spoke with what have now become good friends and confidantes. I generally feel refreshed after what has been a difficult year, however for now, as I write this, I am tired and in need of a cup of tea and a custard cream.